Marriage is a tradition that brings together strangers, single mothers, and members of the same race or community together.
Marriage is seen as the most important thing in the life of every Aro man/woman notwithstanding the entire Igbo people, which is between a boy and a girl when they grow up. Marriage is a journey into existence which lasts till death, not a step backwards.
This is why any man or woman getting married should take a break to ask questions concerning the person or family they are about to get married to.
One way in which Igbo people ask questions about the person they are about getting married to is called “Ịjụ ese” in igbo language.
Read A Brief Interview between us and Chiagozie Nnabuihe, an Igbo linguist at the University of Lagos, explains some of the reasons why Igbo people ask questions before marriage.
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| Arochukwu Bride and her Husband |
Why Do People ask Question before getting into marriage?
“No man or woman wants his or her spouse to be a nuisance to him or her, to his or her family, and that is why he or she is being questioned.”
When did the quest start?
Questioning started when Igbo marriage started, where Igbo marriage started when Igbo life started.
What are they asking for?
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| Arochukwu Bride |
Professor Nnabuihe went on to explain that the key points in the question include;
1. Who are her parents and how do they live? Because if a baby goat is bitten by a monkey that is watched and learned, how parents live it is expected that their child will live.
2. Is there a serious illness in the person’s family of origin or illness? Diseases such as epilepsy and psychiatric disorders etc. It is believed that these diseases can be transmitted from baby to baby.
3. Have they stolen something before? Igbo says theft is a name. It is believed that a thief will learn from a thief. The Igbo people are known for their theft.
4. Are they lazy? Igbo says that a lazy person is a beggar, a beggar is a thief. So no one wants to be associated with a lazy race.
5. The other question is whether the person is Diala, Osu, Ume, Ohu, Njoku, Mmaju, Nwaatani, Nnomafo. All of these groups compete with one another. No one wants to get married.
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| Arochukwu Groom and father |
The people being asked this question are not the family of a man or a woman related to them, but the neighbors or the nearest community residents that know the family well.
Question-and-answer method; The questioning is the responsibility and responsibility of the man and his family and of the woman and her family.
They would ask him “Have you ever seen a woman?” if he has seen, they will go into the field of questioning but if he has not seen, he will be asked for a woman before they enter the field of questioning.
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| Arochukwu Groom |
Satisfied with their findings, he would take his family to the woman’s home to express his interest. The wife’s family will ask the men to give them some time to ask their daughter if she intends to marry a man.
But that time also included one in which they examined the man’s family by asking important questions.
If they do this and are interested in the man, they will send a message to his family to start their marriage journey.
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| Arochukwu Groom and family |
What are the benefits of questioning?
It helps to avoid the lamentation of ‘If I only I knew’ within marriage.
It helps to avoid the trauma of divorce.
It prevents the establishment of racial slurs in the world.
Eventually, if a man or woman follows these questions, it will help them to build a lasting family.
Watch The below video to know more about The Arochukwu Traditional Marriage